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NOTE
I know there are certain things that I enjoy more when I am “worse” at them. Becoming too mindful of the skill involved, makes for a worse experience.
Lake Wobegon effect
A tendency for most people to believe that they are above average in intelligence, sense of humour, diving ability, and similar traits.>> Alluding to Lake Wobegon, ‘a place where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average’
An important step for me in combating this, anticipate how flawed I am. A hint of brilliance, is possibly self-delusion. Excellence in all capacities, a lie. Even my sense of acutely sensing my delusion more acutely than others, likely delusional.
People fixating on those in their close social network: “I’m stressed, due to Sam, from down the block, excelling at swimming fast - but this swift swimming is something I love and I am the best at it. I loathe him for it.”
Meanwhile, in the greater world - the set of all greatest swimmers, including mildly sedated porpoises will always “beat” both you and Sam. You don’t know the greatest swimmer and she doesn’t know you.
Everyone is immediately expert level (have I even completed a single thing?).
In each of these groups, there are those who think themselves worse than they are. Even considering myself a member of this group, makes me want to degrade my abilities to ensure that I am inadequately gauging myself.
Then you find yourself at the bottom, the only logical place. It is so comfortable to be the worst of all and truly deserve it.
In certain things, make yourself the worst you can be, at something you love. You are a terrible dancer. You are a terrible swimmer. It will be truly beautiful to watch you, a flailing thing, having fun being precisely where you are and winning.
Explaining what I love about you
This is another thing that I am conscious of. On one hand you want someone to know they are brilliant in some aspect, let’s say they are particularly caring and selfless or look amazing in green, which you notice by months of closeness and observation. You can tell them this. You notice because you love it about them.
But what I am fearful of is that when you tell them what you love about them, so directly, they will suddenly be conscious of it and it will change them and the act they perform (especially when in my presence.)
Them being too conscious of it, has the possibility of altering what you love most about them - a sincere, inherent feature. (“Let me wear green today”).
So you have to be crafty about this, I believe (make sure others know of this love) or just know the person you are interacting with.